Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Yes, the show is excellent and meets my needs. However, I am scandalized by the blatant oversight regarding clever merch. There is an ice cold, gaping hole in my heart where the most obvious of Conan novelty products should be snuggled. The worst offender in this category is damning the upcoming autumnal and winter months to be shivering and unslaked. Conan is known and beloved the world over as “Coco”. He is clearly a sizzling HOT male specimen. Do they not see it staring them in the face…? Obviously, the fans are crying out for a product named: Hot Coco! Yes, I am DEMANDING a creamy and sensuous, hot cocoa drink that I can pour into an oversized mug, and languorously swallow by a roaring fireplace. Make this dream come true! Anytime someone asks the inevitable question during the holidays “Would you like some hot cocoa?”, I will answer “Only if it’s Hot Coco hot cocoa!” How else does Conan expect to make friends if he won’t give the people what they want?!

This show should be called Conan O’Brien Makes Every Interview About Himself. He relentlessly interjects his personal anecdotes into every interview. Conan: My guest today has a new movie coming out. Tell us about it. Guest #1: Well, it’s a murder mystery that takes place over the course of one night….. Conan: That sounds fascinating! You know when I was writing on SNL…… Conan: So where are you from? Guest #2: New Orleans. My parents….. Conan: New Orleans is a great city, I love New Orleans! Once when I was working on The Simpsons…. Guest #3: …and after years of searching I finally found my birth mother only to learn that she died one month earlier. Conan: That’s a real tragedy. I’m very sorry for your loss. You know I grew up in Boston with five siblings, and when I went off to Harvard….. Conan might have more friends he if let’s the people he’s speaking with tell their stories instead of forcing them to hear his stories.

Please turn the female assistant’s mic off. So grating to the nerves. I would love to subscribe again but I can’t get past that horrible cackle

Yarp indeed

The best podcast. Categorically better than other podcasts.